BIG PUN-ishment!!!!

Ok, this is SOOO wrong in SOOOO many ways and on SOOOO many levels. I honestly don't know what to say. When this came across my desk all I could think was, "DAMN, who is standing behind the camera taking this picture for her? And more importantly, who in the hell is she sending it to?" Did the person behind the camera suggest that she open the 'gates of hell' when she took that pic like, "Yea baby. Spread em like that." (snaps picture and looks at camera screen) "Oh hell yea, hell yea. That's the money shot right there!!!". As if the weight alone doesn't pose enough of a heath risk, she's smoking too, WHILE leaning back in that frail ass computer chair. The chair looks like it's thinking, "Fuck! I can't hold you up like this very long. Stop playin' around Quasinda...Alleyoop!" I dare not post her "sexy" pics, you know, lingerie and shyt. Never let it be said that I didn't take a bullet for the team. I spared you all from a fate far worse than Christmas fruit cake.

Ok, enough jokes. I'm seriously trying to keep my McDonald's Filet-O-Fish from swimming upstream. I wanna puke...So if you'll excuse me...(shoving employees out the way as I make a mad dash for the bathroom to embrace my porcelain girlfriend)


"I assure you, Sir, there are no lights at the end of that tunnel"

-Louis and Clark