Man Up, Girlfriend.

Ok, here's the deal...I just received the following email from a lady friend of mine. Uh, you may not know this but I hate "MALE MUSH" emails. What's a male mush email? Well, it's some pro-WOMAN relationship manifesto in the form of an email or story that's conjured and written by a MAN. And yes, it's soooo gay. Now, he does make some very valid points in this message. I just think that it's lame because he didn't accompany it with a version for MEN about WOMEN. Below is a list of the things that he wrote in this "Declaration of Independence" with my own thoughts behind it.

"IF A MAN WANTS YOU" by some guy

-If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. (Except a gun)

-If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. (Except a gun)

-Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. (If he's smart, he can make his own excuses)

-Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. (And future dates)

-Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. (As opposed to acting like the same jerk you have been for a relationship that is meant to be)

-Slower is better. (If you are falling off a bridge or building)

-Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. (***Note, living your life for your man is what makes him happy. Anything else would be so selfish***)

-If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (You remember what Chuckie from Child's Play did to friends that crossed him don't you? That's my case and point)

-Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. (Stringing you along is a lot nicer than kickin' your ass for speculating)

-Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. (And things are bound to get better once you start to cough up your part of the rent)

-The only person you can control in a relationship is you. (And you can't quite seem to control yourself so the relationship is pretty much a crap shoot)

-Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? (Hey, Flavor Flav did it and he got three seasons on VH1 to prove that theory wrong)

-Always have your own set of friends separate from his. (Besides, your friends are hoes)

-Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. (As long as you don't put those boundaries in the bed)

-If something bothers you, speak up. (Or forever hold your peace. Don't bring shyt up a month later. All expressed warranties are null and void)

-Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. (That's just a nice way to say, "Shut the fuck up" from time to time)

-You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. (So does diarrhea)

-Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. (And after that, just kick him square in the nuts while you got him on the ground, why don't you!)

-Never let a man define who you are. (Instead, let Webster's define what you are. Look up the word "annoying")

-Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. (Just buy a man of your own)

-A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. (Good thing you have no say so in this matter. Whew! I was afraid we'd have to break up the band)

-All men are NOT dogs. (Some of us like to monkey around)

-You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. (It's my way or the highway. Your over-confidence is your ticket to a one-way, dead end street)

-You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. (Unless'n you are on the rebound from a relationship you just got out of. In that case, who needs healin'? You needs lovin!)

-You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. (I think he's telling you to go on a diet. Read between the lines)

-Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. (Wrong, dating is a total waste of time and the tax payer's dollars)

-Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. (Imagine if McDonald's subscribed to that same philosophy...smh)

-Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. (Just commit to him when either of you is in need of sexual favors. Fair enough?)

-Keep him in your radar but get to know others. (Always have your next targeted victim in your sites. Remember...No Women, No Children)

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Pass this on to at least 10 woman and 5 men.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT...

(I got the hint...Tyler Perry must have written this)

-Your Hetero-Hero, the Manly Man, the Panly Pan


***Don't get offended and walk around with your panties in a bunch. This was all done in fun, sheesh***

Disclaimer: The Corsa Group does not necessarily agree or approve of the content displayed in this particular blog. The expressed views are those of the writer and not CORSA or it's affiliates. Panama is a liar and he really believes everything that HE wrote.

Crosswalks

The city can be a busy place. For the amount of noise and confusion that can be found on a city block, I sometimes find it most peaceful. I get the weirdest thoughts at the strangest times. As my mind wonders aimlessly, I approach a crosswalk at an intersection. A car pulls in to the intersection and stops half way through the crosswalk. Clearly this lady is in the middle of the crosswalk causing me to have to walk around her Toyota Camry to get through the crosswalk. I got around the car and back onto the sidewalk then started to ponder, “Why do drivers stop directly in the middle of the crosswalk?” Maybe they are saying something about themselves without even saying a word at all. Maybe they are telling the world that they often cross the lines or maybe their view of the line is blurred so they cannot make the distinction between what is the line and what is not. Keep in mind that this is not some crazy new finding listed in the latest Scientific Journal but just my own personal observation. I don’t always pay attention to what’s in front of me when I drive. I find myself stopping in the middle of the crosswalk from time to time. Yes I do cross the line in my personal and business lives too. Do I go overboard? Am I “over-the-top”? Am I out of control? Yes, all the time. The downside to that sort of behavior is that it can injure or potentially kill anyone that is in the crosswalk during my time of approach. Not to mention the fact that I put everyone that is down with me in jeopardy as well. Therefore, I have resolved in keeping myself behind the line and out of the crosswalks for my safety and your own. I will try to work on my impulsive obsessive compulsive behavior. Be forewarned that some of the responsibility lays on you, the pedestrian. If you are in the crosswalk and you see me coming with no clear signs of slowing my approach, move your azz.

-Your Public Safety Announcer

10-year ban for popping a wheelie in Miami

South Florida has a motorcycle problem, and lawmakers are introducing legislation to show bikers that they'll go a long way to punish those who break the rules. Stunt riding (including wheelies), excessive speeding, and concealable license plates will get you a 10 year ban on your motorcycle license, mandatory jail time, and an impounded bike. If the punishment sounds like the medieval practice of cutting off the hand of a man for stealing, that's exactly how State Representative Carlos Lopez-Cantera wants it.

Lopez-Cantera witnessed firsthand a variety of incidents during which reckless behavior was on display, including bikers flying down the highway at 120 mph, high speed wheelies, and more. Police officers can't even run plates since bikers will often flip them up to avoid detection, and it's very difficult to catch a motorcycle on the open road with a squad car. It's disappointing to see that things have apparently gotten so out of hand in South Florida that draconian enforcement policies are being seriously discussed.

Looks like we won't be going to Miami anymore.. Well, there's always Atlanta!!!