I'm Gonna Get You "SUCKA"

OK I’ll admit, it was cute when you were like, 6 months old, but as a teen or a full grown, tax paying adult it has to be one of the grossest thing I have yet to see. It’s worse than chronic in-traffic gold digging. It’s sucking on your nasty ass thumb. Some say it’s caused by insecurities while others blame the parents for letting the habit form. Bucked teeth, foreskin fingers, and bad breath are just some of the physical side effects of this addiction. The social side effects would be name calling, long stares, finger pointing, snickering/laughing, and perhaps the occasional ass kicking.

Whatever the case may be, it’s totally not cute. It makes you wonder though. In today’s society people are making “bad habits” and “stupid things” that are not too cute, cute. Smoking cigarettes is not cute. It’s a nasty habit just like sucking your thumb. Who knows? Maybe sucking your thumb will be as popular as smoking a cigarette one day, for all we know. There’d be magazine ads with gorgeous women sucking their thumbs in the club and holding a drink. Joe Camel ads would have a camel sucking on a human thumb (picture that). Music videos would have thugs putting up signs with one hand and sucking a finger on the other hand. Giving someone “the finger” wouldn't be so profane. It would bring around responses like, “No thank you, I don’t suck” or better yet, “No thank you, I’m already up to two thumbs a day. I’m trying to quit. After all, sucking has been proven to be habit forming”.

-Panama



*** Mental Note***

Did you know sucking someone's thumb while they are simultaneously sucking on their other thumb would be considered second hand sucking? I think Nicorette makes a "patch" for that too.